https://waustingardner.com/faith-in-the-face-of-pompe-canfield/
Why weakness, honesty, and grace often shape the strongest leaders.
Ministry is often portrayed as a mountaintop experience, yet most of us spend our days in the trenches. For over 50 years, I have walked the halls of churches and the dusty streets of mission fields, and I have learned one hard truth. The most effective leaders are not the ones who have it all together, but those who are willing to lead through the fire. Specifically, a vulnerable leader possesses a strength that a "perfect" leader can never touch.
When we experience personal pain or face the consequences of past mistakes, our first instinct is often to hide. We build walls because we believe that our influence depends on our perceived perfection. However, the Gospel tells a different story. It tells us that God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness. If you are a pastor, a missionary, or a mentor, you don't need to be a bulletproof superhero. Instead, you need to be a companion who knows the way through the valley.
The Myth of the Bulletproof Leader
Many of us grew up in a religious culture that demanded performance. We were taught that a leader must always be the strongest person in the room. Consequently, we learned to mask our struggles, suppress our doubts, and ignore our exhaustion. We thought that showing a crack in the armor would disqualify us from service.
But let me tell you something I’ve learned from decades of mentoring: people aren't looking for a perfect leader. They are looking for a leader who is honest. When you try to act like you have no problems, you actually become less relatable to the people you're trying to reach. Meanwhile, your soul begins to wither under the weight of the performance.
2 Corinthians 12:9 “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
God isn't looking for your ability; He is looking for your availability. He wants you to rest in the finished work of Jesus. For example, when I faced Stage 4 Kidney Cancer and a brutal battle with COVID, I couldn't "perform" my way out of it. I had to simply be held by the Father. That vulnerability didn't weaken my ministry; it gave it a new depth.
From Fixer to Companion: Lessons from the Canfield Family
One of the most profound shifts a vulnerable leader can make is moving from being a "fixer" to being a "companion." As leaders, we hate seeing people in pain. Therefore, our natural reaction is to jump in with three points of advice and a quick prayer to "fix" the situation.
I think of the Canfield family and their journey with Pompe disease. When you see a family walking through a medical crisis that has no easy earthly solution, your "fixer" instincts will fail you. You cannot fix Pompe disease with a clever sermon. However, you can walk beside them. You can be a friend who isn't afraid of the silence or the tears.
Austin Gardner has always believed that mentorship is about relationship, not just information.
Specifically, a companion doesn't try to explain away the fire; they simply stay in the fire with you. This is how Jesus leads us. He didn't just give us a set of rules from heaven; He came down, took on flesh, and suffered alongside us.
The Power of Sharing Your Scars
Your past mistakes and your current pains are not obstacles to your leadership. In fact, they are often your greatest tools for connection. When I talk about my own failures and the mercy I have found, I see doors that were previously locked open.
Psalm 34:18 “The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”
If God is near to the brokenhearted, then a leader who is honest about their own brokenness will find themselves closer to the heart of God, and the hearts of their people. This is the core of The Big Leap of Faith. It is the radical belief that God loves you exactly as you are, not as you think you should be. Consequently, when you believe this for yourself, you can finally offer that same grace to others.
Leading Through the Fire with Grace
How do we actually lead when we are the ones hurting? First, we must stop viewing our pain as a distraction from our work. Instead, view it as part of your training. Every trial is an opportunity to experience the "Followed by Mercy" reality.
I often say that rest doesn't come after you fix yourself; rest comes first. You are not being graded on how well you handle the fire. You are being held by the One who walked through the fire for you. Therefore, you can afford to be vulnerable. You can admit to your team when you are struggling. You can tell your mentees, "I don't have the answer for this, but I know the One who does."
Austin Gardner’s experience in missionary work taught him that the world is messy. People are messy. Ministry is messy. But the beauty of the New Covenant is that mercy is not trailing behind you with conditions; it is running toward you with intention.
Finding Strength in the Secret Place
A vulnerable leader must have a robust life of prayer and gratitude. This isn't about religious performance. On the contrary, it is about staying connected to the Source of life. When the fire gets hot, the discipline of gratitude reminds us that God is still good.
Philippians 4:6-7 “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”
Notice that the peace comes after the honest request and the thanksgiving. We don't have to pretend we aren't anxious. We simply bring the anxiety to the Father. Meanwhile, He guards our hearts. This is the "One-Day Faith" we talk about: trusting God for the strength needed for the next twenty-four hours.
Your Weakness is an Invitation
If you feel disqualified because of your past or overwhelmed by your present, take heart. You are in the perfect position for God to use you. A vulnerable leader is a magnet for those seeking hope. People are tired of polished programs; they want to see a life touched by the grace of God.
Remember, the Christian life was never meant to be powered by fear or performance. It was meant to be lived from a place of being loved first. Consequently, your leadership should flow from that same place of rest. You can read more about this journey in my book, Rising Above the Hurt.
Austin Gardner has spent years helping leaders find their footing again after the fire has scorched them. Whether you are dealing with a personal health crisis, a family struggle like the Canfields, or the weight of ministry expectations, know that you are not alone. God’s mercy is after you right now, ready to bring real grace and honest hope.
Call to Action: Dive Deeper into Vulnerable Leadership
If this message resonated with you, I want to invite you to watch the full 5-part video series that explores these themes in depth. These videos were created to help you navigate the hardest parts of leadership with grace and resilience.
For more resources on leadership and grace, visit Alignment Ministries or check out the Followed by Mercy newsletter.
FAQ: Leading with Vulnerability
How can I be vulnerable without losing my authority as a leader?
Vulnerability actually increases your true authority by building trust and authenticity. When you are honest about your journey, people respect your courage and are more likely to follow your lead. Real authority comes from your character and your connection to Christ, not from a mask of perfection.
What if my past mistakes are too "messy" to share?
You don't have to share every detail with everyone, but you should have a circle where you can be fully known. Sharing the lessons learned from your "mess" can become a lifeline for someone else in a similar struggle. Remember, God’s mercy covers the mess, and His grace is bigger than any mistake you've ever made.
How do I stop being a "fixer" and start being a "companion"?
Start by listening more than you speak. Instead of offering immediate solutions, try saying, "I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I'm here to walk with you." Focusing on presence rather than performance allows the Holy Spirit to do the deep work only He can.
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