Do Parents Hinder their Children from Going to the Mission Field

Austin Gardner • January 8, 2023

Article by Herbert Kane

This is a greater obstacle than most people -link. There are two kinds of opposition. One kind comes from nonChristian parents who have no use for religion, much less missions. The other comes from Christian parents, some of them evangelical, who believe in missions but are unhappy when their children become involved.


In the case of non-Christian parents, sometimes the opposition assumes violent, almost paranoiac proportions. The author is personally acquainted with fellows and girls who have been locked out of their own homes for no other offense than announcing their intention to become missionaries. Some have been completely disowned by their families. Others have had their names removed from their father’s will. One mother was so sick at the thought of her daughter’s going to the mission field that when it came time for her to leave the mother went to bed, turned her face to the wall, and refused to say good-bye. For seven years the daughter regularly wrote to her mother; but she didn’t get so much as a postcard in reply. It was not until she returned on furlough that the mother finally relented and was reconciled to her daughter. This is by no means an unusual case.


The opposition that comes from Christian parents is more silent and more subtle but none the less damaging. Such parents are in favor of Christian missions and give generously to the cause, but they are less than happy when their own son or daughter decides on a missionary career. That brings the matter a little too close to home. Missions is all right for the other fellow’s son or daughter but not for theirs. They have grandiose plans for their children, and these don’t include the mission field. The father may want his son to succeed him in the business, which may have been in the family for several generations. Tie pressure generated by this kind of situation is sometimes harder to resist than the outright opposition of non-Christian parents.


What should young people do when they find themselves in that kind of predicament? Filial piety is a Christian virtue, and under ordinary circumstances, children are obliged to obey their parents, especially when they are Christians. But nowhere does the Bible suggest that parents, Christian or non-Christian, have the right to come between their children and the will of God. From a purely human point of view, it is wrong for parents to force their plans on their children. It is doubly wrong when those plans run contrary to the will of God.


If the parents are old, or ill, or poor, or for some other reason are absolutely dependent on their son or daughter for their livelihood, then the young person should give serious consideration to what Paul had to say to Timothy: “If any one does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his own family, he has disowned the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Ti 5:8). After much prayer and soul searching he may decide that the Lord would have him remain at home, at least for the time being, to fulfill his Christian duty to his parents. Missionaries in mid-career have been known to remain at home for five or ten years to minister to the needs of aging parents. But 1 Timothy 5:8 should not be applied to well-meaning but self-centered parents who are unwilling to give their children to the Lord for His service.


In that case, the young person should be guided by the words of Christ: “He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Mt 10:37).


It should, however, be borne in mind that when we obey the teaching of Scripture, the Lord has a way of working on our behalf and giving us the desire of our hearts (Ps 37:4). And in the case of those who have left family and loved ones He has given His word of promise: “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time... and in the age to come eternal life” (Mk 10:29-30).


God is no man’s debtor. He has said, “Those who honor me I will honor” (1 Sa 2:30). If we obey Him, He will be responsible for all the consequences that flow from our obedience. Missionaries have given their children to the Lord only to find that He takes better care of them than they themselves could have done. There are missionaries who have given up their parents only to find that He makes ample provision for them, far exceeding anything the missionaries could have asked or thought (Eph. 3:20).


On the other hand, parents have refused to allow their children to go to the mission field only to find that the children turned out to be a sorrow to them in their old age.


 J. Herbert Kane, Understanding Christian Missions



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