John MacArthur writes in his commentary on the book of 2 Corinthians the following in reference to forgiveness and the victim mentality. We must forgive. Forgiveness is out of style and not popular today. I want to grow and mature in this.

We live in a culture that views forgiveness not as a virtue, but as a sign of weakness. Our heroes are the vengeful, who challenge their enemies to give them an opportunity to strike; those who proudly see themselves as their enemies’ “worst nightmare.” Some even argue that forgiveness is unhealthy. Self-help books boldly assert that people should cultivate self-esteem and blame others for causing their problems. The victim mentality reigns supreme, and as a result of these and other perspectives, vengeance and retaliation are exalted, not the noble and Christlike virtues of forgiveness and restoration.

But the price of refusing to forgive is high. Unforgiveness produces hatred, bitterness, animosity, anger, and retribution. It not only clogs up the arteries but also the courts with thousands of vengeful lawsuits. Refusing to forgive imprisons people in their past. Unforgiving people keep their pain alive by constantly picking at the open wound and keeping it from healing. Bitterness takes root in their hearts and defiles them (Heb. 12:15). Anger rages out of control and negative emotions run unchecked. Life is filled with turmoil and strife instead of joy and peace.

On the other hand, forgiveness frees people from the past. It is liberating, exhilarating, and healthy. Forgiveness relieves tension, brings peace and joy, and restores relationships. In addition to its personal and societal benefits, there are at least ten biblical reasons for forgiving others.

First, believers are never more like God than when they forgive. God is “a God of forgiveness” (Neh. 9:17), “a forgiving God” (Ps. 99:8), to whom “belong compassion and forgiveness” (Dan. 9:9). The prophet Micah asked rhetorically, “Who is a God like You, who pardons iniquity and passes over the rebellious act of the remnant of His possession?” (Mic. 7:18). The parable of the prodigal son aptly illustrates God’s forgiveness (Luke 15:11–32). Like the father in the parable, who watched for his wayward son and ran to meet him, God eagerly forgives repentant sinners. God’s forgiveness means that He will not hold believers’ sins against them as requiring punishment (cf. Isa. 43:25; 44:22; Jer. 31:34); He has cast them behind His back (Isa. 38:17) and buried them in the depths of the sea (Mic. 7:19). Believers are never more like God than when they eagerly and passionately forgive. In Matthew 5:44–45 Jesus said, “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”

Second, the sixth commandment, “You shall not murder” (Ex. 20:13), does not just forbid murder but also anger, malice, lack of forgiveness, and desire for revenge. In Matthew 5:21–22 Jesus declared,

The apostle John added, “Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer” (1 John 3:15). Those who refuse to forgive others but are bitter, hateful, and full of animosity are guilty of violating the sixth commandment.

Third, whoever offends another person offends God more, because all sin is ultimately against Him. David committed adultery with Bathsheba and murdered her husband Uriah. Yet he acknowledged to God in Psalm 51:4, “Against You, You only, I have sinned and done what is evil in Your sight” (cf. 2 Sam. 12:9). Any wrong done against believers is insignificant compared to the wrong done to God. How then can they refuse to forgive?

Fourth, those who have been forgiven of great sin against God must forgive the lesser sin of others against them. At salvation, God forgives believers’ staggering, unpayable debt of sin because of Christ’s substitionary death on their behalf. For them to refuse to forgive other people is utterly unthinkable. Jesus graphically illustrated that incongruity in a parable recorded in Matthew 18:21–35. A king’s servant (probably a regional governor who embezzled tax revenue) owed him ten thousand talents—a vast sum that the servant could never have repaid. The king felt compassion for him and released him from his debt. But inexplicably, unbelievably, the servant refused to forgive his fellow servant who owed him a small amount of money.

The point of the illustration is simple. God freely forgives believers’ massive debt to His holiness—a debt they could never repay even if they spent eternity in hell. Therefore they must readily forgive the sins by which others offend them. To refuse to do so is reprehensible, insensitive ingratitude that makes a mockery of God’s forgiveness of them.

Fifth, believers who refuse to forgive forfeit the blessing of fellowship with other Christians. In the Lord’s parable, it was the unforgiving servant’s outraged fellow servants who reported him to his lord (Matt. 18:31), an act symbolizing church discipline. Those who refuse to forgive can cause rifts in the church fellowship and destroy its unity. They must be brought before the Lord for chastening, and if impenitent are thereby alienated from the church fellowship. Like Hymenaeus and Alexander (1 Tim. 1:20) and the incestuous man at Corinth (1 Cor. 5:5), they are delivered to Satan and forfeit the blessings of associating with God’s people.

Sixth, failing to forgive results in divine chastening. In addition to their separation from the church fellowship, God brings suffering into the lives of those who refuse to repent. God reacts with holy anger against unforgiving believers and chastens them (Matt. 18:32–34). His goal is to bring them to repentance, so they will willingly pay what they owe (v. 34); in other words, be willing to forgive others. Otherwise, “Judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy” (James 2:13).

Seventh, God will not forgive believers who refuse to forgive others. Jesus stated this truth plainly in the Sermon on the Mount: “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions” (Matt. 6:14–15). The Lord was not, of course, referring to the eternal forgiveness of justification (Acts 10:43; Rom. 3:23–24; Col. 1:14; 2:13; Eph. 1:7; 4:32; Titus 2:14; Heb. 7:25; 1 Peter 2:24) but to the temporal forgiveness of sanctification. Believers who fail to forgive others do not cease to be God’s children, but they will face their heavenly Father’s chastening. They will not forfeit their eternal blessings in heaven, but they will forfeit their temporal blessings in this life.

Eighth, failing to forgive others renders believers unfit to worship. In the familiar words of the Lord Jesus Christ in Matthew 5:23–24, “Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.” God does not want the hypocritical worship of those who refuse to forgive others. Reconciliation must precede worship.

Ninth, to refuse to forgive is to usurp God’s authority. It is to set oneself up as a higher court, with higher standards, than God. Paul forbad such arrogant pride in Romans 12:19: “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord” (cf. Prov. 24:29). Only God can righteously deal with sin, since He alone is omniscient, just, and always acts in perfect holiness.

Finally, offenses against believers must be recognized and embraced as the trials that mature them. Jesus commanded believers who face criticism, injustice, and mistreatment, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous” (Matt. 5:44–45). A proper response of forgiveness leads to spiritual maturity (James 1:2–4).

The perfect model of forgiveness is the Lord Jesus Christ, who while on the cross prayed for His tormentors, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). Peter called on believers to follow the Lord’s example in 1 Peter 2:19–23:

 John F. MacArthur Jr., 2 Corinthians, MacArthur New Testament Commentary (Chicago: Moody Publishers, 2003), 49–53.