Finding the True Fruit of the Spirit

Have you ever felt like you were carrying a spiritual clipboard? I spent many years of my life convinced that my relationship with God was based on a performance review. I would wake up, check my "Fruit of the Spirit" list, and see how I was doing. Was I patient enough at the grocery store? Did I have enough joy during the staff meeting? If I checked enough boxes, I felt like God was happy with me. If I failed, I felt like I was failing Him.

Consequently, many of us treat the Christian life as a high-stakes exam with grading that never ends. We look at the list in Galatians and see a set of goals to achieve rather than a life to receive. Specifically, we turn the beauty of the Holy Spirit's work into a heavy scorecard. However, I want to tell you today that the scorecard is gone. Jesus didn’t come to give you a better list of rules; He came to give you His very life.

The Exhaustion of the Self-Effort Scorecard

For a long time, I operated under the assumption that if I worked hard enough, I could manufacture spiritual fruit. I thought that if I studied more, prayed longer, and tried harder, I could produce love, joy, and peace. Meanwhile, I was actually operating in what the Bible calls the "works of the flesh." We often think of those "works" only as "bad sins," but they are essentially any effort driven by fear and self-will.

Galatians 5:19 “Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness...”

While those are the outward manifestations, the root is always the same: striving to meet a standard in our own strength. When we try to "do" the fruit of the Spirit, we are just dressing up the flesh in religious clothes. This performance-based living leads to inevitable burnout. Therefore, if you feel exhausted by your faith, it might be because you are trying to produce what only God can provide.

Where the Scorecard Was Finally Destroyed

Life has a way of stripping away our ability to perform. For me, that moment came when I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Kidney Cancer and later fought for my life against COVID. There were days when I couldn't even hold a Bible, let alone "perform" for God. During that season, I was also "canceled" by people I had served for decades. The external scorecard I had built my identity on was shredded.

In that darkness, I realized that God’s love was not measuring my worth by my consistency. Specifically, I learned that peace doesn't come from being a "good Christian"; it comes from being a loved child. My wife, Betty, stayed by my side through every surgery and every tear. We have been married since August 18, 1973, and her love during my weakest moments was a picture of God’s grace. She didn’t need me to be a "keynote speaker" or a "missionary hero." She just wanted me.

Romans 8:1 “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are available in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”

When the tumors were at their worst, I found that those tumors were not bigger than God’s grace. I had no energy to "work" for joy, yet joy found me because I was resting in the finished work of Christ. The scorecard had to die so that the life of Jesus could truly live in me.

Abiding vs. Striving: The Secret of the Vine

We must understand that an apple tree does not grunt and groan to produce an apple. It simply stays connected to the source. Similarly, the Fruit of the Spirit is the natural outflow of abiding, not the reward for striving. When we focus on the fruit, we actually miss the point. We should be focusing on the Vine.

John 15:5 “I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.”

If you are struggling with patience, the answer isn't "try harder to be patient." The answer is to take The Big Leap of Faith and believe that God loves you exactly as you are right now. When you feel secure in His love, patience naturally grows. Loved people become loving people. It is a biological spiritual reality.

Identity Precedes Behavior

The religious world tells you that if you change your behavior, you will find your identity. God tells you that because you have a new identity in Christ, your behavior will change. You are not a sinner trying to become a saint through good fruit. Instead, you are a saint: a beloved child of God, who is learning to let the Holy Spirit lead.

“God is not disappointed in you. He is not measuring your worth by your consistency.” This truth changed everything for me. When I stopped looking at my performance, I began to look at His presence. I found that the Fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance, was already there, waiting to be released through rest.

Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”

Notice that last phrase: "against such there is no law." The scorecard is gone because the law has been fulfilled in Christ. You are no longer under the "pass/fail" system of the Old Covenant. You are living in the "finished" reality of the New Covenant.

Resting Into Transformation

So, how do we practically move away from the scorecard? First, we must recognize when we are slipping back into "flesh-mode." Whenever you feel a sense of "I have to" or "I must earn," that is the flesh talking. Meanwhile, the Spirit always speaks in the language of "You are" and "I have already done."

Rest doesn't come after you fix yourself. Rest comes first. Specifically, you must learn to sit in the Father’s lap before you try to work in the Father’s field. My journey from the pit to the palace of grace was paved with the realization that I am not behind, I am not being graded, and I am being held.

If you have been feeling the weight of religious performance, I want you to drop the clipboard today. The Fruit of the Spirit is not a list of things you have to do; it is a description of the Person who lives inside you. Let Him be patient through you. Let Him be kind through you. Your only "job" is to believe you are loved.

Your Assurance in the Finished Work

God’s mercy is after you right now, ready to bring real grace and honest hope. You don’t have to worry about whether you are "spiritual enough" to deserve His favor. His favor was bought by Jesus and given to you as a gift. Consequently, you can walk out of this day with a light heart and a clear conscience.

The scorecard is gone. The Spirit is here. You can finally rest.

FAQ: Understanding the Fruit of the Spirit

How can I tell the difference between my own effort and the Fruit of the Spirit?
Self-effort always leaves you feeling tired, prideful when you succeed, or crushed when you fail. The Fruit of the Spirit, however, feels like a natural overflow, leaving you with a sense of peace and gratitude toward God rather than toward yourself.

Does resting in grace mean I don't have to worry about how I live?
Actually, resting in grace is the only way to truly live a transformed life. When you know you are unconditionally loved, you naturally want to live in a way that honors that love, which produces far more "fruit" than fear-based rules ever could.

What should I do when I feel like I'm lacking a specific fruit, like joy or patience?
Instead of trying to "work up" joy or patience, go back to the Vine. Remind yourself of your union with Christ and focus on His love for you; as you abide in that relationship, the fruit you need will begin to manifest naturally.

Connect with Austin Gardner: