Jay E Adams writes in the Christian Counselor’s Manual the following about our identity in Christ rather than our self concept or image.

How should the Christian counselor view such matters? First, for a man to live peacefully, he must find the only identity in this life that has worth: that of the child of God.

• When he knows that he has been regenerated by the Spirit of God,
• is a member of the family of God,
• is forgiven of all iniquity,
• counted as righteous as Jesus Christ through identification with Him, and
• destined for an eternal inheritance in the presence of God,
• that is identity enough for any man!

Such identity has been given freely to those who are in Christ (cf. I John 3:1: “See how great a love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called the children of God; and we are”). The Holy Spirit has been given to secure that identity: “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you are sealed for the day of redemption” (Ephesians 4:30). A seal secured and identified. For the Christian, the identity crisis is over.

In Christ, who is his wisdom, his righteousness, his power, and his sanctification (cf. I Corinthians 1:30), he has all of the ego strength that he needs. Indeed, with Paul, he may declare: “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

But what of the “not yet” of the Christian’s life that in sanctification needs to be conformed to the “already?” Two things may be said.

First, in sanctification one does not seek more personal ego strength. As a branch, he receives all of his strength from the Vine. It is true that he grows stronger and more confident as he grows by grace; but his confidence is not in himself. The self-concept of the believer focuses not upon what he in himself is, but upon what in Christ he has become: “Consider yourselves to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus” (Romans 6:11).

This is something totally foreign to the thinking of psychiatrists. They cannot imagine one finding his self-worth in Another. An analysis of this Christian concept can lead unbelieving theorists, who are blind to Christian realities (I Corinthians 2), only to the conclusion that the Christian doctrine of self-concept is unhealthy. The Christian considers himself entirely unworthy apart from Christ; indeed, worthy of death (as Romans 6:11 puts it). All of his worth and self-esteem resides in his relationship to Another.

He is entirely dependent upon Christ for such worth. Unbelieving analysts could only conclude that this teaching (1) is unhealthy because it stresses worthlessness leading to repentance on the part of the sinner, and (2) is unhealthy because it makes the Christian a totally dependent person. Christians know better, but would not attempt to explain the biblical rationale to those without eyes to see or ears to hear.

Secondly, the Christian does not seek self-worth as an end because he knows that such a search is hopeless. Instead, he knows that this, like all personal gain, is a by-product: “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33). Invariably, in God’s order of things, it is as the catechism says: when we glorify God, we enjoy Him forever. The Scriptures put it this way: “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35).

More directly speaking to the issue at hand, Christ declared: “He who has found his life shall lose it, and he who has lost his life for my sake shall find it” (Matthew 10:39), and “For whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it; but whoever loses his life for my sake shall find it” (Matthew 16:25). Clearly the one who seeks his identity in himself or in his relationship to other men will never find that which he seeks. It may be found only by the abandonment of one’s own desires and a willingness to follow Christ. Identity is found in Him; in letting loose of all else for His sake. One finds a satisfying identity nowhere else.

Thus, love of self is not a biblically legitimate end. One is satisfied with himself only when he is in the proper relationship with Christ, having a clear conscience before God and men.

Our Identity in Christ

The Two Realities, Two Adams