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We are going to make it

Austin Gardner • Aug 15, 2022

Marriage no longer works

versión en español a continuación



Life was good by about any standard you could measure it by. We were in the first semester of our second year in college. 


We were now together all the time except for class time. We had been an item before, a unit, Betty and Austin, Austin and Betty, but now it was full-time. We loved it.


Betty was in class one day, and her professor said marriage is a relic of the past. Marriages do not work. He said most marriages could make it a couple of years but not much more.


Betty was one of the only married ones in the classroom. She came home all out of sorts. Betty was upset and crying. She told me the professor said our marriage wouldn't work. 


We would get over each other and get a divorce. I had to tell Betty we were believers and marriage would not be that way for us. We would make it because God would bless us. We would obey God. Treat each other the way He said to treat each other. Our marriage would last.


She was finally settled and agreed with me after many tears and frustration. So far, our marriage has only made it 49 years, but I think it has a good chance of making it till death do us part. 


We were playing house and family, and life was complete. I worked, and Betty sewed for people. We did whatever it took to stay alive financially barely. 


But there was something missing. I wanted to be in the ministry. I wanted to do something for God. We were faithful to church. We didn't miss anything that was going on. It had been that way the whole time we knew each other.


I wanted to do anything that I thought would have me serving God. I bugged my pastor to death, asking him for a ministry I could have. I asked to teach a Sunday School class and go on visitation with him. 


He was always kind but never offered me anything. I continued to ask him every week or two. I was getting very frustrated. I wanted to do something, and he wasn't helping me. 


I told Betty that we had been patient. Mind you that it had only been a couple of months, but it seemed like an eternity to me. I said we would have to change churches if he did not allow me to do anything and would not help me get into the ministry. 


I have to serve. I have to be doing something. I was going to find a church to help me be who I felt God wanted me to be. We went to church determined to tell the pastor we were leaving.


He had not helped me, and I was ready to move on.


Consider the following with me:


Marriage is a God thing. He created the world. He made man and woman. He knew that it was not good for man to be alone. Marriage is a beautiful, divinely inspired blessing. Get good Biblical counseling, marry right, and you are in for a wonderful life.


Marriage works, but you do have to work it. You must make up your mind that you will die to yourself and live for another. Two selfish people will never have a good marriage. Love is about giving, not getting or taking.


God will open doors for you to serve Him. Do what is in front of you right now. Be a blessing to your pastor. Wait on God, and He will direct your path.



Get the whole story


Betty, the love of my life

The Call

Hay Day of my Life

"The bro zone!" Like a brother

A Giant Heart

The tractor ride

Never Really Dated!

Shocked & Surprised

Good News

Finding an acorn

Scared my dad!

Send that hillbilly hiking

Who's chasing who?

Betty meets my grandmother

The longest summer ever

Reckless Redneck

Honeymoon

Separated for the first time

We are going to make it



La vida era buena según cualquier estándar con el que pudieras medirla. Estábamos en el primer semestre de nuestro segundo año en la universidad.


Ahora estábamos juntos todo el tiempo excepto en el tiempo de clase. Antes habíamos sido un elemento, una unidad, Betty y Austin, Austin y Betty, pero ahora era a tiempo completo. Nos encantaba.


Betty estaba en clase un día y su profesor dijo que el matrimonio es una reliquia del pasado. Los matrimonios no funcionan. Dijo que la mayoría de los matrimonios podrían durar un par de años, pero no mucho más.


Betty era una de las únicas casadas en el salón de clases. Llegó a casa toda mal. Betty estaba molesta y llorando. Me dijo que el profesor dijo que nuestro matrimonio no funcionaría.


Nos superaríamos el uno al otro y nos divorciaríamos. Tuve que decirle a Betty que éramos creyentes y que el matrimonio no sería así para nosotros. Lo lograríamos porque Dios nos bendeciría. Obedeceríamos a Dios. Nos trataríamos el uno al otro de la manera que Él dijo que se trataran unos a otros. Nuestro matrimonio duraría.


Finalmente se calmó y estuvo de acuerdo conmigo después de muchas lágrimas y frustración. Hasta ahora, nuestro matrimonio solo ha durado 49 años, pero creo que tiene buenas posibilidades de sobrevivir hasta que la muerte nos separe.


Estábamos jugando a la casa y a la familia, y la vida estaba completa. Yo trabajaba y Betty cosía para la gente. Hicimos lo que fuera necesario para mantenernos con vida económicamente.


Pero había algo que faltaba. Quería estar en el ministerio. Quería hacer algo para Dios. Fuimos fieles a la iglesia. No nos perdimos nada de lo que estaba pasando. Había sido así todo el tiempo que nos conocíamos.


Quería hacer cualquier cosa que pensara que me haría servir a Dios. Molesté a mi pastor hasta por gusto, pidiéndole un ministerio que yo pudiera tener. Pedí enseñar una clase de escuela dominical e ir de visita con él.


Siempre fue amable pero nunca me ofreció nada. Continué preguntándole cada semana o dos. Me estaba frustrando mucho. Quería hacer algo y él no me estaba ayudando.


Le dije a Betty que habíamos sido pacientes. Eso sí, solo habían sido un par de meses, pero a mí me pareció una eternidad. Le dije que tendríamos que cambiar de iglesia si él no me permitía hacer nada y no me ayudaba a entrar en el ministerio.


Tengo que servir. Tengo que estar haciendo algo. Iba a encontrar una iglesia que me ayudara a ser quién sentía que Dios quería que fuera. Fuimos a la iglesia decididos a decirle al pastor que nos íbamos.


Él no me había ayudado, y yo estaba listo para seguir adelante.


Considere lo siguiente conmigo:


El matrimonio es cosa de Dios. Él creó el mundo. Hizo al hombre y a la mujer. Sabía que no era bueno que el hombre estuviera solo. El matrimonio es una hermosa bendición divinamente inspirada. Obtenga un buen consejo bíblico, cásese bien y tendrá una vida maravillosa.


El matrimonio funciona, pero hay que hacerlo funcionar. Debes decidir que morirás a ti mismo y vivirás para otro. Dos personas egoístas nunca tendrán un buen matrimonio. El amor se trata de dar, no de recibir o tomar.


Dios te abrirá puertas para que le sirvas. Haz lo que está frente a ti en este momento. Sea una bendición para su pastor. Espera en Dios, y Él dirigirá tu camino.



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